Brotherhood Protectors: Protecting Kiera (Kindle Worlds Novella) (SEAL of Protection Book 10) Read online

  He’d seen a lot of dark things in his twenty-seven years, things no human should ever witness, let alone participate in. He’d known it going in. Had known being a Navy SEAL wasn’t all glorious Hollywood-style hostage rescues, but the reality had been much harsher than even he could’ve imagined. Body parts strewn across the sand after a bomb exploded, hostages who had been abused so badly they were mere shells of who they used to be, blood, guts, gore, and the worst of humanity.

  He didn’t remember much about the explosion that had stolen his hearing…only recalled the horrible pain in his ears and the blood pouring out of them as if a faucet had been turned on high.

  But seeing Kiera’s smile as they were introduced had almost made everything he’d seen and done disappear. She was his reward, she just didn’t know it yet.

  So when Patrick had not-so-subtly told him that Kiera was going to be at his wife’s party that night, Cooper had jumped at the chance to talk to her outside of her work. To discuss something other than learning sign language, how his hearing aid was working out, and what he thought about the school lunches he’d been eating with the children.

  But his fantasies of chatting with her in a neutral setting disappeared like smoke when Cooper realized that he’d never be able to hear her in the noisy room, and when the pain in his head started.

  “Come on,” Kiera demanded.

  Cooper didn’t actually hear the words, but instead read her lips. She surprised the hell out of him when she reached down and intertwined her fingers with his and tugged. Without protest—Kiera could hold his hand anywhere, anytime—Cooper docilely followed behind her.

  If his former teammates could see him now, they’d get a kick out of the situation. The woman clutching his hand wouldn’t be able to budge him if he didn’t want to go with her, but he did. Cooper had no idea where she was taking him, but it didn’t matter. He’d follow her to the ends of the earth. The view of her ass in her skirt was merely a bonus. Even though it felt as if there were hundreds of gnomes pounding inside his head with little hammers, he smiled.

  As the diminutive woman led them toward the front door of the boutique, Cooper placed the glass of champagne he hadn’t been drinking on a table they passed. He noted absently that Kiera waved off at least three people, not stopping to chat, not even to be polite. He appreciated it. He needed fresh air. Badly. Before the nausea swirling deep in his belly got the better of him. He didn’t think Julie would appreciate him hurling all over the floor of her shop.

  Catching Patrick’s eye, Cooper lifted his chin in a goodbye of sorts. In return, the other man flashed him the hand signal for “be careful.”

  Kiera didn’t give him a chance to respond, but Cooper understood Patrick’s warning. Kiera was friends with his wife. If he fucked with her, he’d fuck with his former commander. But Cooper had no intention of fucking with Kiera…not in the sense Patrick was warning him about.

  Cooper had the quick thought that the hand signals the teams used to talk to each other when they couldn’t speak were an awful lot like sign language, but before he could dwell on that more, they were outside the small shop.

  The immediate silence of the night was blissful. Even the slight ringing in his left ear was tolerable. Kiera didn’t stop, but continued as if she had a specific destination in mind, and Cooper didn’t say a word.

  She led them past the independently owned businesses that lined the street to Julie’s store until they reached a small square. It reminded him of the ones in the rural towns he’d grown up around in the Midwest, all it was missing was a large courthouse. There was a building in the middle of the area—Cooper had no idea what was inside—and around it was green lawn, a fountain off to one side, and a multitude of benches. It was a cozy place where shoppers could come to rest, employees could eat their lunch, or parents could bring their kids to be out in the fresh air instead of cooped up inside.

  Kiera led him to a bench and stopped. She pointed down at it and signed the word for sit. Cooper’s lips twitched but he did as she ordered.

  When they were both seated, she frowned up at him and said slowly, giving him a chance to read her lips in case his ears were still ringing, “When you’re in a small, enclosed area with lots of people, you should turn off your hearing aid. All it’s gonna do is give you a headache.”

  She was right.

  “You’re right.” He tried to monitor how loud he was speaking, but couldn’t. There were times he knew he was talking way too loud and others when whoever he was speaking to had to ask him to repeat whatever it was he’d said, as he was almost whispering and didn’t know it, but Kiera didn’t give him any clues if his voice was at an appropriate level or not. She just responded.

  “I know.”

  Cooper couldn’t hold back his grin anymore. “How’d you know?”

  “That you were in pain?”

  He nodded.

  “Besides the fact your brows were permanently drawn down, you kept tilting your head to the left as if that would block the sound, you fiddled with your ear several times and you were squinting?”

  Cooper’s grin left his face. Damn. He’d thought he’d hidden his discomfort better than that. “Yeah, besides that.”

  Kiera put her hand over his on his leg. The warmth of her touch almost scorched him. He froze, not wanting to move even an inch if it’d mean her removing her hand from his.

  “For one, I’ve seen the kids in my class with partial hearing act exactly the same way you were when the noise is too loud. It took me a bit, as I’m used to watching in the classroom for signs someone’s hearing aid is bothering them, not at a party like the one tonight. And secondly, you were being rude. Not talking to anyone. Not even saying hello to me.”

  “I’m sorry, I—”

  “No, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t talk to anyone either if my ears were ringing and a jackhammer was going off in my brain.” She smiled when she said it, and Cooper could see the sincerity in her eyes.

  “How do you know what it feels like?”

  “I don’t. Not really. But I’ve talked to enough of my students and heard them describe the feeling that I’ve learned to recognize it. It took me longer with you though.”

  When she didn’t continue, Cooper asked, “Why?”

  A slight blush moved up her neck and into her cheeks, giving her a rosy glow. She pulled her hand away from his and clasped them together in her lap. She looked away from him and shrugged.

  Cooper put one finger under her chin and gently pulled her back to face him. “Why?” he repeated.

  “My feelings were hurt that you didn’t seem to want to talk to me,” Kiera blurted, then pressed her lips together.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s fine. It’s silly really. I just…I usually stay at home on the weekends. I’m an introvert at heart, and after a week of being with the kids and talking with the other teachers and parents, I’m exhausted. But when Julie told me you were going to be at her party, I thought maybe we could talk away from school.” She shrugged, not taking her eyes from his. “Then I got there and you wouldn’t even look at me. It hurt. But I understand now. It’s not a big deal.”

  Cooper’s stomach tightened, but not from nausea this time. Kiera had wanted to talk to him. She came to the party because he was going to be there. He felt just like he had when he was ten years old and Renee Vanderswart said he could walk her to her bus after school one day. Giddy. Excited.

  He put his hand over hers in her lap. “The only reason I was there was because Patrick said you’d be there.”

  Cooper saw her blue eyes light up. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” he confirmed. “But by the time I got there, it was already crowded. The second I walked in the store, my hearing aid started buzzing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to have a decent conversation with you, and I was too stubborn and embarrassed to take the stupid thing out and fiddle with it. So I thought I’d stay long enough to be polite and then take off. I’d already decided to exp
lain when I saw you at school in a few days.”

  “I understand.”

  “I don’t think you do,” Cooper countered.

  She tilted her head and wrinkled her brow.

  “Kiera, I wanted to impress you. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear myself speak, and I couldn’t tell if I was yelling or whispering. Not to mention, I wouldn’t be able to hear what you were saying. I’m getting better at reading lips, but I still have a long way to go. And since I’m being honest, I still can’t tell if I’m talking too loud or soft, but I can hear you pretty well at the moment, so there’s that.”

  “You’re doing fine,” she reassured him.

  Cooper squeezed her hands. “The point is, I want you to see me as a man, Kiera. Not as a wounded ex-sailor. Not as a student.”

  She stared at him for a long moment, and Cooper could feel his heart beating hard in his chest. It was ridiculous. He’d stared down the scope on a rifle for hours waiting for the right moment to take his shot and hadn’t felt this kind of adrenaline rush.

  Kiera took a deep breath, but didn’t look away from him. In many ways, she was eons braver than he’d ever been.

  “I’m old enough to be your mother.”

  Cooper stared at her for a beat, then threw his head back and laughed. When he got himself under control, he looked back down at Kiera and chuckled anew. She was glaring up at him with squinty eyes. He ran a fingertip between her eyebrows. “The only way you’d be able to be my mother is if you were sexually active in elementary school, sweetheart.”

  “You’re missing the point,” she huffed, trying to pull her hands out from under his. “And how do you know how old I am anyway?”

  Cooper got serious. “I’m not missing the point, and I asked Patrick.”

  She gaped up at him. “You asked Patrick?”

  “Yup. He asked his wife, who told him, and he told me. You’re thirty-seven. Have been working at the Riverton School for the Deaf for ten years. Your mom is deaf and that’s how you learned to sign. You’ve never been married and haven’t dated seriously in at least five years. You met Julie when you took your kids to the base for a tour. She had an extra pair of pants for one of your students when he had an accident.”

  Kiera gaped up at him.

  Cooper smiled, loving having the upper hand. Loving the dance. He’d been pussyfooting around her for long enough. It was time he stopped and let her know how he felt. “Yeah, I asked, Kiera. I wanted to know everything about you.”

  “Why?”

  “You have to ask?”

  She dropped her eyes for the first time and the blush returned.

  “I want to get to know you. I want to know what you like to eat, about your childhood. I want to meet your parents, but hopefully you can teach me to be more fluent in sign language before we do. I want to be able to talk to your mom and have her tell me stories about what you were like when you were a kid. I want to know what your home looks like, if you can cook, and what you like to watch on TV.”

  She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

  Cooper forced himself to continue. “I want all that stuff, but I know you could do so much better than me. I’ve seen stuff that would make you reel in horror. Things I don’t ever want to think or talk about again. Most of the time I’m uncouth and say the wrong thing. I don’t have patience for stupid people and I’m not sure I want to have children. I don’t have a college degree and I’m disabled. I’m afraid I won’t be able to protect a woman like I should, since I can’t hear what’s going on around me, and that sucks.”

  “Cooper—” Kiera began, but he interrupted her, wanting to get it all out.

  “I don’t give a shit about the ten years between us. I’m twenty-seven, but some days I feel eighty-seven. It’s not about the number, it’s about this feeling inside me that is screaming you’re the reason that bomb didn’t rip me to pieces. It should’ve, Kiera. I was standing right there. I know I sound insane, but I think everything happens for a reason, and the reason I lost my hearing was so I could meet you. All I’m asking for is a chance. Give me a chance to show you I’m not an asshole…well, not to you. I swear if you let me into your life, I’ll do everything in my power to make your next forty years better than the first.”

  Cooper stopped talking and could see emotions swirling through Kiera’s eyes. He held his breath, waiting for her response.

  Chapter 3

  Kiera stared up at Cooper in disbelief. There was so much in what he’d said…she didn’t know where to start.

  He’d asked about her. Her. Not only asked, but probed.

  But one thing stuck out above everything else. “You’re not disabled.”

  He snorted. “I hate to be the one to break this to you, but I am.”

  Kiera shook her head vehemently. “Gandhi once said, ‘Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.’ My other favorite quote is by Oscar Pistorius. He’s the South African Olympic sprinter who had both legs amputated below the knee when he was a baby.”

  “I know who he is,” Cooper said with a smile. “Wasn’t he also convicted of killing his girlfriend?”

  “Yes, but that’s beside the point. Actually, it probably makes my point more. I bet if he saw himself as disabled he wouldn’t have been able to kill anyone. Anyway, I was going to tell you something he once said. ‘You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.’”

  “I’m not sure my abilities are things polite society wants or needs,” Cooper said dryly.

  Kiera moved one of her hands to his leg and said softly, “I teach the children in my classes that they can be whatever they want. They can do whatever they want. They might need to make adjustments to accommodate them, but just because there’s never been a deaf opera singer doesn’t mean there never will be.”

  “I bet if I Googled it, I’d find one,” Cooper told her.

  “You’re missing my point,” Kiera huffed, sitting back in frustration.

  “I’m not, I’m just teasing. I promise to work on my attitude about my loss of hearing, but you’ll need to give me some time. I was a SEAL, sweetheart. One of the most feared and respected men in the military. Now I’m out of a job and struggling to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I can’t do many of the things I took for granted and it’s…hard.”

  Kiera had more respect for Cooper at that moment than she did for most other people. He didn’t shy away from the fact that he was floundering after retiring from the Navy. She decided to move on and commented on some of the other things he’d said earlier.

  “First of all, you’re more…male…than most men I’ve ever met. You being able to hear or not has no bearing on that whatsoever.”

  His lips didn’t move, but the lines around his eyes deepened with her words…as if he was smiling with his eyes. She continued, hoping she’d convinced him on that particular point.

  “I don’t care if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m too old to care what others think about me or my friends. Stupid people are one of my pet peeves. And I love kids and being around them all day, but I also love going home to my quiet apartment, putting my feet up, and drinking a glass of wine. I’m not sure at this point in my life I want kids either.”

  It was the first time she’d said the words out loud and they were somehow freeing. “Society thinks women who don’t want to procreate are somehow wacked in the head. But I enjoy my life. I like being able to go on vacation wherever and whenever I want. I don’t care about your lack of a degree; you’re smart, have common sense, and I’d rather be around you than a lot of so-called educated people I know. You don’t have to protect me. I’ve been taking care of myself for a really long time. And if there is something you need to know that you can’t hear, I don’t mind passing along the intel.”

  They stared at each other for a long moment.

  “Does that mean you’re okay with our age difference?” Cooper asked quietly.
So softly Kiera could barely hear him.

  “Not really,” she said honestly. When his brows wrinkled in frustration or disbelief, she wasn’t sure which, she hurried to explain. “I’m afraid if we do get together you’ll decide in a few years that you’ve wasted your late twenties. That you’ll think you’ve missed out. I’ll be in my late forties when you’re still in your thirties. I’ll be hitting menopause when you’re—”

  Cooper stopped her rambling with a hand over her mouth. When she stopped speaking, he moved his hand until his fingertips rested against the back of her neck and his thumb brushed the apple of her cheek.

  “If you give me a shot, and we end up together, I’ll never, ever, regret a second of our time with each other. I haven’t been a monk, but any desire I might’ve had to take random women home with me died the second that bomb exploded. I didn’t have anyone to talk to, to sit by my side as I recuperated…and I realized how much time I’d wasted. I don’t want a meaningless hookup. I want a committed relationship with a woman who wants to spend her life with me. Give me a chance, Kiera. A chance to show you that I’m not a fuckup. That I can be the kind of man who’ll treat you like you were meant to be treated.”

  “Promise me one thing,” Kiera said.

  “Anything.”

  “That if you change your mind, if the difference in our ages does start to bother you, you do want kids, or if you want more than the boring life of sitting around and watching TV on a Saturday night, you’ll tell me. Don’t cheat on me, hit me, or do something else so I have to break up with you.”

  “I promise,” he said immediately. “But I’ll tell you right now, it’s never gonna happen. First, I’d be an idiot to cheat on you. I know for a fact that we’re gonna be combustible in bed together. Sitting here holding your hand has me more excited and aroused than I’ve ever been before. I have no doubt you’re gonna blow my mind if we ever make love. And after the last few years on the teams, I can’t think of anything better than hanging out with you every night doing nothing. I’ve had enough excitement to last me a lifetime. And there’s no way in hell I’d ever hurt you. No way.”